I Need Him
by DrMauraIsles
Summary: Post 15x10 He tried to keep himself from going to the trial but he couldn't. He was clenching his fist as he walked down the back stairwell. He stopped dead in his tracks at the site before him. Olivia Benson, his Olivia was breaking down. He wanted to turn around to walk away, but he couldn't. No matter how angry she was, he knew she needed him. Eventual E/O! Give it a shot!
1. Chapter 1

**_I know I need to update my other stories and I promise I will. I'm getting back in the swing of school and I have midterms coming up. I will update this weekend I promise! This idea popped into my head at the end of the episode and I needed to write it down! Please review. I was going to leave it as a one-shot, but if you want a multi-chapter story please review and let me know. If enough people want a story, then your wish is my command. _**

**_Enjoy! :) love yah! _**

* * *

Olivia sat on the stairs. She finally allowed herself to let it all out. She let the tears fall down her face, she took a breath and put her face in her hands. She knew she should be happy that's he's going to jail, but she can't bring herself to feel even the littlest bit of relief.

Brian had tried to help her through it. He had been very comforting, and there for her. She wanted to feel completely safe with him, but she wasn't. If she was being honest with herself there was only one person who she felt safe with and she would never see him again.

She let another sob slip past her lips. She was shaking slightly. She started to hear the creaking of the stairs. She knew someone was coming down, she figured it was Brian. Only cops and lawyers knew about the back stairwell. It's where they took victims out to keep them from the press.

Victim. That's what Olivia felt like, a victim. That's what she was, Olivia Benson was a victim.

* * *

His fist were clenched as he walked down the stairs. He was taking deep breaths to keep himself from punching a wall. He knew he shouldn't have went to the trial, but he knew even if she didn't know he was there, that she needed the support. He saw the way she flinched under his gaze and how she tried to act strong, but he knew better than to think she was okay.

It took all of his will power to not kill Lewis right in the courtroom for what he did to Olivia. He knew she wouldn't notice him in the courtroom because all of her attention would be aimed at Lewis. He knew when the verdict was called that she was about to break. She had Brian now and she didn't need him. It broke his heart to see her with him. He messed up and now he was paying. He was alone and she had Brian. She was finally happy and that's why he was leaving though the back. He didn't need to cause her anymore heart break.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the sight before him. Olivia Benson, his Olivia was breaking down. He watched her body shake and heard her faint sobs. He knew he should leave, or walk away and act like he didn't see anything. He looked at her and knew that she needed him. She may hate him, but right now he knew she needed him.

He slowly walked down and sat down next to her. She didn't move a muscle. He watched her try and control her breathing. He slowly moved his hand to her back and started to rub slow circles up and down her back.

"Brian I'm fine, go and wait in the car" she murmured hoping he would just let her be. Elliot took a breath before he pulled her close. To his suprise she wrapped her arms around his waist and without looking up and snuggled into his chest.

"Liv, I know you're not okay, and I'm not Brian" Elliot breathed. He felt her stiffen. It felt like forever before she finally looked up and met his gaze. He could see more tears forming in her eyes.

"El?" She breathed not believing the sight before her. Here was the one person she wanted to see, the one person who she knew could comfort her. She wanted to be so angry with him, to hit him and scream, but she felt so relieved that he was actually here. He didn't speak, he kept looking down at her. She could feel the hot tears streaming down her face.

She watched him open and shut his mouth a few times before he finally spoke. "Liv, I'm so sorry" he brushed her hair out of her face.

"Not now, you are here. That's all that matters" she breathed before snuggling back into his chest. He held her close and ran his fingers though her hair.

She finally spoke the words she's been telling herself all day."I'm a victim" she said her voice cracking. Elliot felt the tears threatening to fall as her voice cracked. He held her tighter, and he felt her grip tighten as well.

"You will make it through this Liv, I believe in you. You are Badass Benson, you are the strongest person I know." He breathed. He planted a chaste kiss on her head. He felt her shaking her head into his chest.

"Olivia, you fought back and beat him to a pulp, he deserved everything he got. You are so strong, you saved yourself." He breathed.

"I was so scared Elliot" she whispered. "He got in my face, watching the spit come out of his mouth in rage. Even though I was safe, I flashed back to when he had the gun to my head" she let more tears fall.

"But you stood your ground, if I didn't know you as well as I do. I would of thought you where fearless. It's going to be okay. I won't ever let him touch you." Elliot spoke softly as he felt her shake against him. He knew she had Brian, but she would always have him too. Whether she knew it yet or not.

She held on to Elliot like he was her life line, but who was she kidding, he was. She held him tight. She didn't want to ever let go. She was afraid that if she let go he would leave her again and she wouldn't be able to handle it. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. He held her tight until her sobbing subsided.

"Promise me" she murmured in response to his earlier statement. Years ago she knew that he wouldn't leave after this, but now she's not so sure. She felt him take a deep breath, she held her breath waiting for him to talk.

"I promise you" he said lifting her chin lightly so she was looking in his eyes. "Olivia Benson, I will never leave you again. I will be here when you need me" he watched a single tear fall down her face. "Always" He finished wiping it away and searching her eyes.

A small smile played on her lips, the one thing she knew Elliot could never do, was lie to her. She knew he meant everything he just said. It may have been four years, but something's never change.

"Good" she spoke softly looking into his eyes. She knew that they had a lot of talking to do. That can wait, he was here and that's all that mattered.

* * *

**_Please tell me if I should continue!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**3 Weeks Later**

* * *

Olivia was curled into Brian's side. They where laying on the couch watching a movie. Olivia hadn't seen Elliot since the day in the stairwell. He had kept in touch; texting her everyday and calling her once a week. She liked that he didn't totally disappear, but she was still nervous in letting him all the way in. They still hadn't talked about him leaving, and that's what she was afraid of. She wasn't ready to hear why he left her.

Brian was rubbing her back when his phone rang. He grabbed it and answered it.

"Cassidy" he spoke into the phone. "Yes sir" he said glancing down at Olivia. "Okay" he said sadness washing over his features. "I'll be right there" he ended the call and looked back to Olivia.

"You have to go?" She asked. She knew that he was being called into work.

"I'm sorry" he breathed kissing her lightly on the lips. "Will you be okay?" He asked as he stood up.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She said in a shaky voice, Brian of course didn't notice. He gave her a faint smile before grabbing his jacket, gun and badge.

"Bye Liv" he breathed before shutting the front door.

Olivia sat on the couch wrapped up in her blanket. She was watching the rest of the movie. Her thoughts started to drift back to the stair well.

Flash back

* * *

_"I'll only keep in touch if you want me too" Elliot said as they walked down the stairs._

_"I do" she breathed. "Just give me time...to take it all in" she said glancing up at him. He nodded in understanding._

_"Just calls and text for now, I will tell you when I'm ready to see you again, and talk about you...leaving" she said her voice cracking._

_"Liv I'm sorry" he breathed holding her close._

_"I know you are, I just don't want to talk about it right now. I don't want to get angry with you. I don't want to push you away" she admitted._

_"I understand" he held her close as they exited the court house. Not knowing when he would be able to do it again._

_"Bye El" she breathed as she pulled him into a hug. She held him tight, not wanting to let go._

_"Don't say bye, I'm not leaving you again. Just say, I'll see you soon" he said kissing her forehead. She chuckled against his chest. He always knew how to make her feel better. She slowly pulled away, looking into his eyes._

_"See you soon" she smiled._

* * *

Present time

Olivia let a lone tear fall down her face as she though back to seeing Elliot again. She froze as she heard a noise. It was probably nothing, last time she thought that. Well she wouldn't let her mind go there. She grabbed her gun and cell of the table.

She thought about calling Brian, he was at work and she didn't want to bother him. She then decided that she would call Elliot. Maybe it was time to talk. She quickly hit speed dial 1 and waiting for him to answer.

He answered on the second ring. "Stabler" he spoke softly knowing it was Olivia.

"Hey El" she spoke in a shaky voice. Leave it to Elliot to notice.

"Is everything alright?" He asked concern present in his voice.

"Can you c-come over. P-Please?" She spoke softly. "I heard something and Brian is at work" she admitted.

"Of course." He breathed. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Thank you" she said before hanging up.

She sat on her couch waiting for Elliot to show up. She was really nervous, she knew they wouldn't end up talking about him leaving. She knew she would get angry. He left her! She was already getting herself worked up over it.

She heard a faint knock on her door. She slowly got up and walked to the door. She took a breath. This was it, she thought as she opened the door.

"Hey" she breathed looking up at him. He was in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He smiled down at her.

"Hey Liv"

She moved out of the way so he can walk in. He walked in and went over and sat on the couch. She shut the door and moved over and sat down on the other end of the couch.

"Are you alright?" He asked looking around.

"Yeah" she breathed. "It just made me nervous and I'd rather not be I'm here alone"

"I understand" he said quietly.

She looked away from him, tears forming in her eyes. "We need to talk"

"I know" he breathed suddenly finding his hands very interesting.

"Why?" She asked, anger forming. He didn't respond right away.

"Why Elliot! Why did you leave me!" she demanded, scaring herself. Elliot was taken aback by her outburst.

"I-" he stopped trying to think of the right words.

"You what!" She spat crossing her arms over her chest.

"I though you would be better off without me." He spoke softly.

"What? You thought I wouldn't be better off!" Her eyes narrowed. "Are you stupid!" She screamed.

"I was afraid to face you after killing Jenna" he admitted.

"Damn it El" she said as she stood up. She started pacing back and forth. He watched her as his guilt grew. "How could you not think I wouldn't understand!" She spat.

She was right, she never have him any indication that he couldn't talk to her. He didn't even know what was running through his head that day. The only things he could remember was Olivia and gun. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to her, but he couldn't tell her that. He sat there in silence.

"Answer me!" She demanded. She wanted answers, she wanted to know why he just up and left! Why he didn't say goodbye! She was so angry with him. She continued to pace waiting for his answer.

"Liv" he breathed. She could sense the sadness in his voice. She glanced at him for a moment before going Into the kitchen. She need to get her emotions in check. She took a shaky breath. She leaned against the counter. She was so mad, but she hated to be the reason for him to be upset.

She need to clam herself down before she went back out there.

* * *

Elliot sat on the couch thinking. He needed to just come out and tell her why. He needed to tell her, she deserved to know. He took a breath and waited for her to come back out.

Olivia slowly walked back out with a glass of water in her hand. She took a seat next to Elliot. She was trying to control her anger. She needed to at least give him a chance to explain. She looked over at him and saw the mixed emotions in his eyes. Hurt, anger, and sadness.

"Liv, I left-" he stopped taking a breath. "I was so scared Liv, I did- I couldn't lose you" he admitted. "After Jenna shot Sister Peg, I though you were next. I took the shot and I-I killed her" he breathed tears forming in his eyes.

She looked over at him and watched I'm start to crack right before her eyes. She should be happy he's finally telling her why he left, but she also felt sorry for making him admit these things to her.

"I could have shot her anywhere Liv, Anywhere!" He said growing angry "And I shot her in the chest. I watched Jenna Die in my arms! How could you want to be anywhere near me? I didn't even want to be near me. I shot a kid Liv, I shot her because I was afraid to loose you" he said tears falling down his face. "I was afraid to face you and so I left, not realizing what mistake I made. I chose you over the job and that's not your fault it was mine. I was so worried about you that I shot that poor girl in the chest" he breathed.

All anger she had for him went away. He finally admitted it. She now watched him break in front of her. He was blaming himself for shooting her in the chest. She scooted over and pulled him into her arms. She held him tight and rubbed his back.

"God I'm so sorry Olivia" he murmured into her shoulder. She tried to keep the tears from falling down her face.

"It's okay El, I forgive you." He kissed his head "it wasn't your fault. You where trained to stop a shooter at all cost, it wasn't your fault that it was a teenage girl." She soothed. She felt him sob and it broke her heart.

"Come on El, it's okay. That was four years ago. I'm sorry I brought it up. I just really needed answers." She spoke softly. She felt bad for causing him this much pain.

"You deserved to know, I- I'm so sorry" he murmured finally meeting her eye.

"It's okay El, I forgive you" she breathed wiping away his tears. She looked into his eyes and still hadn't removed her hands from his cheeks. They sat their looking into each other eyes for was felt like hours.

They where broken out of their trance when they heard the locks turn in the front door. They both looked over at the front door and watch Brian Cassidy walk in. He turned on the light and stopped dead in his tracks looking at both of them.

* * *

**_Uh oh? How will Brian react to Elliot and Olivia! Thoughts? I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible! Please let me know if you like it and if I should continue! This will be eventually E/O! Thanks so much so the reviews! Love you guys! _**


	3. Chapter 3

_"It's okay El, I forgive you" she breathed wiping away his tears. She looked into his eyes and still hadn't removed her hands from his cheeks. They sat there looking into each other eyes for was felt like hours._

_They were broken out of their trance when they heard the locks turn in the front door. They both looked over at the front door and watch Brian Cassidy walk in. He turned on the light and stopped dead in his tracks looking at both of them._

* * *

"Liv?" Brian asked in disbelief of the sight before him.

Olivia ripped her hands away from Elliot's face like they were on fire. She looked at Elliot before she spoke.

"Bri-" He cut her off.

"Liv, What is he doing here? He left you- He- He just walked out of your life, and now he is on our couch? What the hell did I miss?" He asked his anger growing.

"Brian let me explain" Olivia said getting up and walking over to him.

"Well? Explain" He snapped.

"He was with me in the stairwell a few weeks ago, he was there for me and I let him be. After that I haven't seen him since tonight. We talked about everything and we are better" She breathed.

"Why is he here?" Brian asked.

"Because I called him, I got scared because I heard noises" Elliot got off the couch and walked up behind Olivia.

"Why didn't you call me?" Brain demanded.

"You were at work Brian, you work for IAB now. I don't want to disturb you" She spat.

"Liv you can always call me" Brian said.

"Oh bull shit Brian!" Olivia almost yelled "You would get mad at me if I called while you were busy"

"Liv" He tried.

"Listen I understand that you are upset that Elliot is here, but get over it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but there was never a good time to tell you that I was talking to him again. I was afraid I would get a reaction like this!" She explained. "You reacted the exact way I was afraid of. You can't control who I talk to and spend time with." She looked back at Elliot and smiled lightly "Bri, I'm going to talk to Elliot whether you like it or not. He is my _Best Friend._" Elliot stood next to Olivia. "I know you guys have never gotten along, but can you at least be _civil _for me?" She asked looking at them both. Elliot nodded to Olivia and she smiled back at him. She looked over at Brian.

"Liv" He said in almost a whisper. Brian hated Elliot Stabler, he was the reason Olivia and him didn't work the first time and now he was back. Brian knew if he told Olivia that he couldn't get along with Elliot that she would choose Elliot over him. He couldn't let that happen.

"Brian please, you are my boyfriend and he's my best friend. Don't make me choose between you two" She pleaded. She knew he knew that if he gave her an ultimatum that she would choose Elliot. Brian meant a lot to her _yes_, but Elliot definitely means more. She just go him back and she wasn't letting him go that easy.

"Brian, I know you hate me. I'm not to fond of you either, but for the sake of Olivia could you tolerate me? You don't have to be anywhere near me, but don't get upset if we go out for drinks or something of that nature. I'm not trying to take her from you, but she is my _Best friend_." Elliot confessed.

"For you Liv, I'm only doing this for you" Brian grumbled.

"Thank you Bri" Olivia smiled.

Elliot knew this was probably the time he should leave. He turned to Olivia and smiled, she smiled back. "I should get going" He opened his arms and he wrapped her arms around his and they shared a comforting hug.

"Your right, you should get back to Kathy" Olivia said with sadness in her voice.

"Not quite" He watched her facial expressions change. "I'll talk to you later Liv" He said before she could say anything else. He opened the door. "Cassidy" He spoke nodding his head before walking out the door.

* * *

Olivia stood in _Cragen's _Old office. It was now her office, she was now a Captain. She took a shaky breath looking around. She remembered the words he spoke to her _Do something to the place_. She really would miss that man. He was like a father to her, she looked around and saw that Nick, Amanda, and Fin had all left for the night. She must have been in the office thinking longer than she thought. She sighed as she pulled out her phone to call Brian. She wanted to make sure he was home. She needed someone to talk too.

She got his voicemail. "It's Cassidy, Leave a message" she took a breath before talking. "Hey Bri, It's me. Can you call me back when you get a chance? Cragen just left and I really hope you will be home." She said before hanging up.

She walked back over to her old desk and grabbed her stuff before walking out and heading home.

* * *

She unlocked her door and walked into her apartment. She walked into the kitchen and sat her bags down on the counter before grabbing a glass and pouring herself a glass of wine. She took a sip before her vision fell on a piece of paper on the counter. She picked it up and read it. her face failing slightly.

_Liv,_

_I'm so sorry I couldn't call you, but I had to go undercover again and I'm not sure when I'll be back. Sorry about Cragen leaving, but congrats Captain! I'll call you as soon as I can._

_~Bri_

Olivia crumbled the paper up before throwing it away. She quickly downed the rest of her wine and poured her self some more. She walked over and plopped down on the couch. She hated it when he went undercover and he didn't tell her. Now she knew how Kathy felt when Elliot would do the same thing. _Elliot._ She thought back to what he said a week ago _Not Quite._ What the hell did that mean. Was he still with Kathy? He must be right? She actually hadn't paid attention to whether he was wearing his ring or not. She decided to call Elliot, she wanted to know, and she needed the company.

She quickly grabbed her phone and dialed his number. She smiled when he answered on the third ring.

"Stabler" he said smiling as he answered.

"Hey El" She said still a little angry at Brian. Elliot picked up on her tone.

"What happened?" He asked. She smiled to herself, she could always count on Elliot.

"Cragen left today, he retired" She breathed. Elliot let out a breath.

"Italian or Chinese?" He asked.

She loved how well he knew her. "Chinese please, bring movies too will yah?" She asked feeling better already.

"Of course, be there in 30" He said already grabbing his coat.

"Thanks El, you are the best" Olivia said.

"I know, see you soon Liv" He said before hanging up.

* * *

They had just finished eating and were watching an old movie. Elliot had helped Olivia calm down and remember all the good times she had with Cragen. He helped her remember that he was only a phone call away. Elliot had always been good about things like that.

They had been talking about the kids for a while and Elliot was talking about how the twins where both in their freshman years of college. Olivia finally asked the question that has been bugging her all night.

"Are you can Kathy still together?" She asked looking down at her wine.

Elliot took a breath he knew she would ask this at some point. "No, we aren't"

"Why?" She asked before she could stop her self. He took finished his beer before looking over at her.

"When I left, as it turns out I'm a worse father at home than I am when I'm working. Kathy and I fought constantly. Eli is the only one still living at the house. All of the kids knew we wouldn't last much longer. We've been divorced for two years. The kids were okay with it, they didn't blame anyone. They as well as Kathy and I knew it was over. I get Eli every other weekend. I would get him every other week, but I don't like in his school district." Elliot breathed getting up to grab another beer from the garage.

Olivia felt her heart beat a little faster after Elliot finished. Out of the sixteen years she's known him, he is finally single. When he got up, she took the time to take in every time. He walked back over and sat down, giving Olivia a faint smile.

She looked at him before speaking. "So you and Kathy are on good terms?"

"We are, we get along better now that we aren't married." He let a chuckle slip past his lips.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it" She smiled as she pulled the blanket up around her. Elliot smiled and turned his attention back to the movie. He heard Olivia yawn and he looked over at her. She was fighting sleep and they both knew it.

"Come here Liv" Elliot whispered. She looked at him for a second before leaning over and snuggling into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her as he felt her breathing even out. He watched the movie before sleep slowly overtook him too. They both fell asleep with smiled on their faces.

* * *

**_Well? Is it realistic? I'm trying! Please tell me what you think! I hope you like this chapter! I really enjoyed writing it! I'm sorry about my updating! I have to make sure I study and I have Theater for 4 hours everyday form 6-10! Again Please review and let me know what you think!_**


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia let out a breath as she sat in her office. It had been a stressful few days. She couldn't wait until they found a new captain for the unit. She wasn't ready for all the stress that came along with it. Nick had been up her ass the past few days. She knew what it was like to want your gun back, but there was only so much she could do.

She was rather happy she and Brain would have the apartment to themselves. She and Elliot have been talking everyday. Yesterday they had gone out for coffee. He wasn't ready yet to see everyone, Well Fin. Fin is the only one who knows Elliot. Then it hit her, Its just her and Fin now, well they had Amanda and Nick, but its not the same. Before she could give it any more thought her office phone rang.

"Benson" She said running her hand through her hair.

"Hello Sergeant" Tucker spoke.

"Tucker, what do you need?" She asked tapping her pencil on the desk.

"I just wanted to mention that, IAB hasn't decided If we will promote you to Captain and give you a rookie or if we will bring in someone to be your new Captain. So for now you will still be in charge until we make our decision."

Olivia let out a frustrated sign "Okay, Is that all? I need to head home" She said.

"Yes" Tucker said. He was being weirder than normal, but Olivia just shook it off. She hung up the phone and grabbed her jacket and purse. She let out a sign as she turned out the light.

* * *

She unlocked and opened her door to a dark and empty apartment.

"This is getting outrageous" She huffed.

She walked into her room and changed into her sweat and one of Elliot's old shirts. She walked to her fridge and grabbed a beer. Tonight was definitely a beer night. She was about to walk to the couch when her phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID she answered.

"Benson?" She said taking a sip of her beer.

"Hey Liv" Elliot said. Olivia smiled when she heard his voice.

"Hey, Whats up?" She asked as she moved to her couch.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a drink" She smiled at his words.

"Im already in my pajamas" She said. She heard him let out a breath.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later?" He asked.

"Why don't you come over? Brian isn't here and I need someone to talk to" She admitted.

"Okay, I'll be there soon" He said grabbing his jacket.

"Alright, your beer will be waiting" She smiled when she heard him laugh before he hung up.

* * *

Olivia opened the door and smiled when she saw Elliot. He was in a pair of blue jeans and a tight grey shirt with his jacket on over it.

"Hey Liv" He smiled. She moved out of the way and he walked in grabbing his beer of the table. He sat on the couch and Olivia walked over and sat next to him. She took a sip of her beer, and looked over to Elliot.

"How have you been?" He asked. She let out a laugh.

"You saw me yesterday!" She said smiling.

"Yeah, but ever since we have been talking, we haven't really talk about you at all. You know everything that has been going on in my life right now. How's yours? How is work? What about Nick and Amanda, those are their names right?" He asked.

She smiled "Yes, Thats their names." She took a breath "It's been stressful" She admitted.

"How so? Is everything okay?" He asked turning so he was facing her.

"I'm worried about Amanda. Something is wrong with her. She has been late a few days. She doesn't look like she's been getting sleep. I've noticed this for a few weeks now." Olivia said. She had been thinking about it for weeks now, but she cant talk to Brian about it. She figured he wouldn't say anything, but a small part of her didn't want to risk Amanda's job.

"Is there anything that could be wrong?" He asked looking at the concern in her face.

"Well, when she first came to SVU she had a gambling problem" Olivia breathed taking another sip of beer.

"Do you think she relapsed?" Elliot asked carefully.

Olivia took a moment to think about what Elliot just asked. "I don't know, I hate to think that she gambling again, but she's not a drinker and it's the only thing that makes sense" She admitted.

"What do you want to do about it?" Elliot asked.

"I don't know. It hasn't affected her work. She's just been edgy lately. I might ask her whats wrong is it effects her abilities. Her and Nick have been budding heads. Well, not as much as we have" She breathed.

"Whats wrong between you and nick?" Elliot asked as he got up and got another beer for Olivia and himself.

"He's been up my ass lately. I don't blame him, I'd be pissed too if I lost my gun" She breathed. "He was involved with the shooting I told you about. During this past case he has been asking for his gun back. I told him that he couldn't have it back, that he needed to let the PTSD run its course"

"Thats what he need's to do, you cant rush that" Elliot said agreeing with her.

"Thats what I said, he just hasn't been to happy with me this past week." She sighed "Not to mention he and Brian butt heads."

"They do?"

"Yeah, Brian got on Nick's case and IAB was trying to take him out. They don't get along. It's not as bad as you and Brian though, at least you are trying" She said a hint of anger in her voice.

"Is everything alright Liv?" He asked sensing her hostility.

"Yeah" She breathed taking a long swig of beer.

"Really? I don't think you are telling me the truth" He said scooting closer cupping her cheek and looking into her eyes.

"It's just" She breathed closing her eyes. "He's never here" she said her anger growing again. "He-He's never here when I need him the most! I come home hoping I can relax with my boyfriend AND HE'S NEVER HERE!" She yelled, Elliot was taken aback by her outburst. He had no idea it was that bad. She stood up and started to pace. "To make things worse I cant talk to him about anything because a small part of me doesn't trust him!" She admitted. "He said he never slept with the prostitute, but a small part doesn't believe him! I mean really Brian! Am I seriously that bad that you need to go fuck a prostitute!" She covered her mouth when she realized what she just said. She hasn't told anyone how she really felt about the prostitute situation. She never let it slip out before.

"Liv" Elliot said trying to take it all in.

"Oh God" She said before running into her bedroom, leaving Elliot in the living room.

* * *

He sat there taking it all in, Olivia didn't deserve all of this stress, all she does is put other before herself. He slowly got up and walked back to her bedroom. He knocked on the door.

"Liv" He knocked softly "Please open up" After a few minutes he heard the door unlock and the door opened to show Olivia crying.

"Liv" He said pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

"What am I going to do?" She murmured into his shoulder. She pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"Stop crying Liv" He said wiping her tears away. "he's not worth you tears" This made her smile. "You should tell him how you feel though, he probably has no idea how you really feel. He was never very smart" Elliot smiled when Olivia started laughing.

"Thank you El" She said smiling pulling him back into a tight hug. He ran his hands through her hair and kissed her head. There was a knock at her front door. They pulled away and he smiled down at her.

"Can you get it? I don't look very presentable right now" She said.

"Sure, clean yourself up" He kissed her forehead and she smiled watching him walk away. He always knew how to make her feel a thousand times better.

Elliot walked to Olivia's front door and opened it. He was sure his eyes turned wide when he saw who was standing in front of him.

"Tucker"

* * *

**_Well? What do you think? Please leave a review! I hope you all liked the chapter! I'm a little nervous about this one. One more day of midterms then I'm done! Please if you liked it and have time leave a review!_**


	5. Chapter 5

_Elliot walked to Olivia's front door and opened it. He was sure his eyes turned wide when he saw who was standing in front of him._

_"Tucker"_

* * *

"Stabler?" He asked confused. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing" He said looking back as he heard footsteps.

"El? Who is at the-" She stopped when she saw Tucker. "Tucker?" She asked as she moved next to Elliot. "What are you doing here?" Olivia asked she looked at Elliot and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Looking for Cassidy" Tucker said.

Olivia looked at him for a second, she felt Elliot's arm wrap around her waist and she leaned into him. "Brian isn't at work?" She asked quietly.

"No, he left an hour or so ago" tucker said trying to hide his smile when he saw how Olivia's posture changed.

"Did you call his phone?" Olivia asked trying to stay clam.

"Yes, he didn't answer." Tucker said.

"Liv" Elliot said as he felt her body tense.

"I'm fine" She said as calmly as she could. "I will tell him you stopped by" She said.

"Thanks" Tucker turned and walked away from the two.

Elliot shut the door and turned to Olivia. He pulled her into his arms and she took deep breaths.

"You okay?" He asked.

"No" She said pulling back slightly. "If he's not at work, where is he?" She asked.

"Im not sure" He said taking a deep breath. "I'm not sure I want to know where he is" She admitted.

"He probably went to the bar" Elliot said. Olivia gave him an unconvinced look.

"El" She said as she pulled away and grabbed her beer.

"Well, he could have" Elliot said.

"He wouldn't go alone Elliot" Olivia huffed sitting on the couch. She looked at him for a moment. "Wait, Why are you trying to help him?" She asked pointing the tip of her beer at him.

"I don't want to see you hurt Liv" He said sitting down next to her. She looked at him, he smiled lightly.

"It's a little late" She murmured before finishing her beer.

* * *

Olivia rolled over in her bed when she felt the bed move. She knew someone was getting into bed with her. She looked over and saw the figure of her boyfriend.

"Bri?"

"Hey Liv" He whispered. "Go back to sleep" He murmured. She felt him turn away from her. She looked at the clock, it read 2:00. She turned and at looked up at the ceiling and took a breath.

"Where were you?" She asked.

"Work" His response muffled by the pillow.

"Really? The whole night?" She asked.

"Yes Olivia, Why?" He asked facing her.

"Tucker came by" She said still looking at the ceiling. "He was looking for you" She breathed running her fingers through her hair. "He said you had left work and hour earlier" She glanced over and saw was looked like guilt was over his features. "So, where were you Cassidy? That was what six hours ago" She spat. She got up and out of bed. She grabbed her robe and looked at him from the foot of their bed.

"Liv" He said leaning against the bed frame.

"What?" She asked.

"What are you asking me?" He asked slightly confused.

"I really hope you aren't that stupid" She murmured. "If you aren't guilty of something you would have told me where you were" She spat going into her closet. She grabbed a duffle and walked over to their dresser.

"What are you doing Liv?" He asked trying to avoid the obvious question. She ignored him and started packing her clothes into her duffle.

"Do you want to lose your job again Brian?" She seethed as she walked into the bathroom.

"What?" He asked as he got up and walked into the bathroom.

She was grabbing her toothbrush.

"What are you taking about?" He asked watching her.

"You lost you job for sleeping with prostitutes or did you forget?" She spat brushing past him.

"Is that what you think I was doing?" He asked following her.

"Well, you aren't denying it" She said grabbing her phone, badge, gun and duffle bag. She walked out into the living room.

"Where are you going?" He said close behind her. She turned around and glared at him, she grabbed her purse off the counter.

"Somewhere you aren't" She said as she opened the front door.

"Liv" He spoke softly.

She started to walk out then turned around. "The sad part is" She took a breath. "If you wanted to save this relationship or if you cared about me at all…You would have at least admitted to it or denied it. You haven't done either" She spoke softly before walking out and slamming the door behind her.

Brian stood there frozen, he didn't even know what to do. He could barley process what had just happened. Olivia. Olivia had just walked out, she walked out of their apartment and he didn't even try to stop her. He wasn't sure what he wanted, he was never sure.

Olivia walked down the hallway and pressed the elevator button as she pulled out her phone. She stepped into the elevator and dialed a all to familiar number. He answered after 3 rings.

"Liv?" He asked as he let out a yawn. He heard a sniffle on the other line, but no response.

"Liv? Are you okay?" He asked growing worried.

"He didn't even deny it" He heard her whisper.

"Who didn't?" He asked trying to catch on.

"Brain didn't even try to stop me" Olivia murmured as the doors opened in the elevator.

"Did you leave?" Elliot asked. It was getting hard to understand what was going on.

"Yes I did, he didn't even try to deny that he slept with a prostitute" She said sniffling again. "I don't know what to do El" She admitted as she sat down in her car.

"Come here and you can sleep in my guest room. We can talk in the morning" Elliot breathed as he got up to get sheets.

"Are you sure?" Olivia said starting her car. "I don't want-"

"Don't you dare say that Olivia. You are always welcome here." Elliot spoke softly.

"Thanks El" She breathed as she backed out. "I'll see you soon"

"Okay, A warm bed is waiting" He spoke before he hung up. Olivia smiled at his words, she drove out of the parking lot looking back once before she headed to Elliot's.

* * *

Olivia stood in front of Elliot's door, she took a deep breath before she knocked softly. She gave a weak smile when she saw him as he opened the door.

"Liv" He breathed. She dropped her bags on the floor and wrapped her arms around him. He wrapped his around her waist and held her tight. He pulled her closer when he heard her sniffle.

"Come on Liv" He said as he went to move, but she didn't. He looked at her and then smirked. He knew one way to cheer her up. He pulled away and smirked when she looked confused. He wrapped one arm around her back and wrapped his other under her knees and lifted her into his arms.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she felt his lift her.

"Carrying you" He said simply as he headed for his guest room.

"El, put me down. I can walk" She said trying to hide her smile.

"I know that" He said walking into his guest room. "You just needed a little cheering up!" He said before he dropped her on the bed. She started laughing when she bounced.

"Thanks El" She breathed smiling at him.

"There's that beautiful smile" He grinned. She blushed at his words. He walked out, and came back with her bags.

"Thanks" She murmured as she was already snuggled into the bed. She still had her pajamas on. He smiled lightly. "Bathroom is in there, stocked with linens." He said pointing to a door. "Closets there" He said pointing across the room.

He walked over and kissed her forehead. "Stay as long as you need to Liv" She smiled up at him.

"Thanks El" She whispered to him. "For everything" She murmured once he was already gone.

* * *

Elliot woke when he heard screaming. He sat up in his bed and looked around.

"No!" he heard and it sounded like Olivia. He got out of bed and walked out and stood in front of her door.

"NO Stop!" He heard and ran into the room to see Olivia thrashing back and forth. He ran over to her and he heard her whimper. He lightly put his hand son her shoulders.

"Liv, Liv, Its me." He breathed.

"No" She whimpered.

"Olivia!" He said and he watched her eyes open and she took in her surroundings before her eyes found his.

"El?" She asked.

"I'm right here" He breathed and she clung to him. She started to cry into his chest. She moved so he could lay with her.

"He was back" She murmured into his chest.

"Do you have these dreams often?" He asked.

"Usually once a week" She admitted.

"I'm so sorry Liv" He whispered running his fingers through her hair.

"It only happens when i'm really stressed"

"Get some sleep" He murmured and went to get up.

"No" She said and he stopped. "Stay, Please don't leave" She breathed.

He pulled her close again and her head rested on his chest. He kissed her head she snuggled into him.

"Goodnight Liv" He spoke softly.

"Night El" She said as a smile played on her lips as she felt his breathing even out. She kissed his cheek before sleep took over.

* * *

**_Hope you like it! Tell me what you think! I'm sort of straying away from reality now. I hope you still like it! Let me know what you think! I need feedback. We just had to put my dog down and I'm having a Shitty day… So If you could be so kind as to leave a Review I would love it! :) Thanks for reading!_**


	6. Chapter 6

Olivia had just walked into the precinct to see Amanda and Nick sitting at their desk. She sighed as she walked into her office and sat down. She took a breath, she had been staying with Elliot for a week now. She hasn't answered any of Brian's calls or texts. She has had three nightmares total and Elliot had been there for her and she couldn't be more grateful. She hasn't told the team about her and Brian's breakup. Partly cause it isn't there business and the other part because they haven't worked with IAB lately.

She looked up and furrowed her eyebrows when she saw who was outside her office. She got up and clenched her fist. She opened the door and stood there.

"Go Away" She huffed.

"Liv" Brian tried.

"Why are you here? Don't you get I don't want to talk to you?" She said her anger growing.

"At least tell me where you are staying" He asked ignoring her previous statement.

"No, I don't want to talk to you Brian." She breathed.

"Uh, Sergeant we have a case" Amanda said from her desk.

"Thank you Amanda, I need to go. Don't come back" She said walking back in her office and grabbing her coffee, gun and coat.

"You are staying with Stabler aren't you" He accused following her.

"It doesn't matter who I'm staying with, you've made your bed, now lay in it" She said before walking out getting questioning looks from Amanda and Nick.

* * *

Olivia was snuggled into Elliot's side. They where watching episodes of 'I love Lucy'. It had now become a routine for them. If Olivia was up to it they would snuggle on the couch and watch an old time movie, or in this case I love Lucy. She let out a content sigh as her head rested on his shoulder and his grip tighten slightly. She wished that it would be this nice with Brian, but it wasn't and now probably will never be.

"How are you feeling?" Elliot asked.

"Better, Brian stopping by today, made it pretty shitty" She breathed.

"He stopped by?" Elliot asked as she felt him tighten his grip on her.

"Yeah, I told him to leave and to not come back." She sighed.

"Are you okay?" He asked turning his full attention to Olivia.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She lied.

"Liv, I know you-" he was cut off when there was a knock on the door.

"Go get some more wine" He said before he got up to answer the door. When he opened the door his anger skyrocketed. He looked behind him to make sure Olivia was no where in sight.

"What do you want Cassidy?" Elliot growled.

"Where is Olivia?" Cassidy asked.

"She isn't here, Isn't she with you?" Elliot lied cooly.

"No, I know she's here Stabler. She wouldn't go anywhere else." Cassidy said trying to enter the apartment.

"Go away Cassidy, she doesn't want to see you" Elliot said moving in his way.

"Damn it Stabler" Cassidy spat.

"El? Is everything Alri-" She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Brian.

"Liv" Elliot said looking at her.

"Why are you here?" She spat moving next to Elliot.

"Liv, I miss you. I want you back" Brian tried to step closer, but Olivia stepped back and moved behind Elliot.

"Don't touch me" She spat. "Brian you didn't try to save this relationship. Why are you trying to do it now?" She asked not moving out from behind Elliot.

"I've been a wreck since you left Liv, I miss you" Brian said.

"You should have tried harder to stop me" She whispered.

"Liv"

"W-we are Done" She managed out.

"You need to leave Brian. You aren't welcome here" Elliot said as calmly as possible.

"Shut up Stabler" Cassidy spat.

"Listen here Cassidy, this is my home and you have no right to be here! You fucked up, You messed up your relationship with Olivia. You had your chance to fix it and you blew it! The fact that you are a clueless asshole has nothing to do with me! So leave here Cassidy, and don't come back. IF Olivia wants to give you a second chance, then she will contact you. Until then leave her the fuck alone" Elliot spat before slamming the door in his face.

"Thank you Elliot" Olivia murmured. Elliot turned around to see tears in her eyes.

"This asshole has made you cry more times than I'd like to count" He said pulling her into his arms. She relaxed into his arms and inhaled his sent. She loved it when Elliot held her, One of the reasons she loves him…he gives the best hugs. Love. She loves Elliot, she's loved him forever. That's part of the reason why Brian was never good enough, he wasn't Elliot. The day he found her in the stairwell was the best day of her life, other than the day she met him for the first time. Ever since the day in the stairwell she's wanted to tell him how she feels, but she knows he couldn't possibly feel the same so she's always stayed quiet. She was broken out of her thoughts by his voice.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked looking down at her.

"Everything" She breathed looking up at him.

"Just breathe" He murmured kissing her forehead.

Olivia almost lost all self control when his lips where on her head. Sure, he's kissed her forehead many times, but this was different. It felt like more than a kind gesture… More intimate.

"El" Olivia said her voice strained. He slowly pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Liv" He whispered.

She looked into his eyes and felt his grip tighten. They looked into each others eyes for what felt like forever. She sucked in a breath as she watched his pupils dilate, she was sure hers were doing the same.

Elliot was looking down at Olivia, she looked so beautiful. She was so close he could lean down and kiss her and thats all he wanted to do. He watched her lips part slightly and he inched forward ever so slightly.

Olivia moved her hands so the both rested on his chest. She could feel his heart beating rapidly, she wanted him to kiss her. Now.

"Please El" She whispered.

He slowly leaned down and she met him halfway in the most passionate kiss either of them had ever had.

* * *

**_What do you think? To soon? I hope you all liked it! Please leave a review! I'm sorry about not updating sooner! There will be more Drama in the next chapter! :)_**


	7. Chapter 7

_"Please El" She whispered._

_He slowly leaned down and she met him halfway in the most passionate kiss either of them had ever had. _Olivia slowly opened her mouth and Elliot slipped his tongue in and their tongues moved at a slowly rhythm. Testing their boundaries, It was slow, sensual, loving, and passionate. They slowly pulled away at the same time.

Elliot looked down at Olivia and her eyes were still closed. He kissed her forehead and her eyes slowly fluttered open. He watched a small smile appear on her lips and he smiled too. He felt her pull him closer.

"El?" Olivia whispered as her eyes dropped to his lips and then she looked back up. She had been waiting fifteen years to do that and it was even more amazing than she imagined. There was more passion in that kiss then anything she had ever felt with Brian. It felt to natural, like their lips belonged together. She wanted to kiss him again, she wanted to fell his lips on hers.

Elliot was looking down at Olivia as her lips parted. Fifteen years, he's waited fifteen years to kiss her and it was amazing. He wanted to go it again, so he did.

Elliot pulled Olivia closer to him and she smiled into their kiss. Olivia pulled Elliot closer if it was even possible. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't hear the knocking on the door. Once they pulled away, Elliot pecked her lips and they both smiled.

"Open to door Stabler!" They heard Brian yell before more banging.

Elliot looked at Olivia and she gave a slow nod, so he walked over and opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" Elliot growled. "I was pretty sure I told you to leave"

"Let me talk to Olivia." Brian spat.

"She doesn't want to talk to you" Elliot responded.

"El, let me talk to him" Olivia pipped up.

"Are you sure?" Elliot asked.

"Yes, but I want you to stay" She murmured taking his hand. Elliot moved out of the way to let Brian into the room. Olivia walked over and her and Elliot sat on the couch.

"What do you want Brian?" Olivia asked sternly.

"I want you back Olivia" Brian murmured.

Elliot didn't want to believe it, but a small part of him was worried that Olivia would give him another chance. After all He left her and Brian took over. Elliot couldn't sit here and watch Olivia leave him.

"I'm going to get a shower, you are okay right Olivia?" Elliot asked.

She looked up at him quizzically before nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine" She murmured.

Elliot slowly walked back to his room, looking back once again. Praying that he was wrong and was just overreacting. He hopped when he got out of the shower Olivia would still be here.

* * *

"Brian, I cant trust you" Olivia breathed.

"What did I do for you not to trust me?"

"Really?" Olivia asked in disbelief. "You slept with prostitutes, you are never home, and you rarely answer the phone when I call you" She spat. "What woman in her right mind would trust someone that shady?" She asked.

"Olivia I would never cheat on you" Brian said.

"I really wish I could believe you" She murmured standing up "But I cant" She ran her fingers through her hair. "You should go, I need to go to bed"

"Liv, Don't do this" Brian said grabbing her arm.

She looked at him "What are you doing? Let go" She said trying to pull her arm out of his grasp. His grip only tightened.

"Brian! Let go!" Olivia said louder this time.

"Olivia, don't do this" Brian said again pulling Olivia closer. She pushed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist. She didn't know what else to do, her knee came in contact with his groin and he let go of her.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" She yelled grabbing his shirt and dragging him out of the apartment. She slammed the door behind him and locked it. She slowly slid down the door.

She began to wonder why Elliot left so suddenly. She decided to go and check on him. She hoped he didn't regret their kiss, because she didn't.

She slowly walked back into Elliot's room and saw him laying in his bed. She let out a breath and walked over and kneeled next to him.

"El?" She whispered. He slowly opened his eyes, she smiled at her.

"You didn't leave me?" He murmured. Confusion flashed over her features.

"Why would I leave you?" Then it hit her. "El, I'm not going back to Cassidy" She said taking his hand. "He hurt me and I can't trust him, I trust you El. I know you wont hurt me" She smiled squeezing his hand.

"I won't hurt you on purpose" He murmured.

"I Know" Olivia smiled before she captured Elliot's lips in her own. It was short and sweet.

"Good night El" She smiled.

"Night Liv" He smiled as he watched her walk out of his room.

* * *

Elliot walked into his apartment after going out for Chinese food. He put all the food on the counter and began to take everything out of the bags. He looked around and couldn't see Olivia anywhere.

"Liv?" He called out softly.

He didn't get an answer.

"Olivia?" He asked again.

Still no answer, but he heard faint sobs. He followed the sound and he found himself in front of Olivia's bedroom door. He knocked softly.

"Liv? Are you alright?" He knocked again.

Still no answer.

He slowly opened the door and saw Olivia curled up into a ball on her bed. He walked over and sat down next to her.

"Liv?" He asked rubbing her back.

She didn't answer, but he heard her sob. He scooted closer to her and pulled her into his arms.

"Whats wrong?" He murmured rubbing her back.

She wrapped her arms around him and suck her head in the crook of his neck. She started sobbing again as he held her.

"You have to tell me whats wrong liv" Elliot said running his fingers through her hair.

"El" She whispered pulling away slightly.

"What is it?" He asked wiping her tears away.

"I think I" She let a sob slip.

"What? Whats wrong?" He asked again.

"I t-think I'm p-pregnant"

* * *

**_I know its short! I apologize! I know you all want me to update JGB and I will! I just recently lost someone very close to me and I'm not really in the mood to write happy stuff, I'm kind of sticking with the sad and depressing things. I will try to update it as soon as I can… I just don't feel it right now… Sorry! I will try my best to update soon. I'm not giving up on the story though, just taking a little break from the happy shit, cause I'm not very happy._**

**_Thank you all for reading and PLEASE REVIEW! :)_**


	8. Chapter 8

_"I think I" She let a sob slip._

_"What? Whats wrong?" He asked again._

_"I t-think I'm p-pregnant"_

"W-What?" Elliot asked as he felt his heart break into a thousand pieces. He held Olivia close as she cried.

"Wait" He said pulling back slightly. "Why are you upset? Liv, you deserve a baby" He breathed looking into her eyes.

"I'm happy, but" She stopped for a second.

"What?" He asked carefully.

"If I'm pregnant…It's Cassidy's" She murmured. "I just, I-I want the baby to know its father, but Cassidy is just, I don't want to have to deal with him for eighteen years" She finally admitted.

Elliot tried to hide his smiled but he started to laugh and soon Olivia joined in. He kissed her temple and pulled her close.

"Liv, no matter what happens, I will be with you every step of the way." She snuggled into his arms. "I'm not leaving you" He kissed her forehead.

"Thanks Elliot" She said kissing his cheek. "I really need this right now"

"I know you do, come on lets lay down" He murmured.

They both moved and climbed under the covers. Elliot pulled Olivia close and her head rested on his chest. She took his hand and intertwined their fingers. He kissed her head and she let out a content sigh.

"Sleep tight Liv, It will be okay" He murmured.

"Thanks El" She hummed sleepily. She almost let those three little words slip. This is how she wanted it to be, she wanted it to be her and Elliot. Now she might be carrying Brian's child. All she's ever wanted was to have a baby, preferably with the mad sleeping soundly beside her. She kissed him lightly on the lips and watched a smile appear on his face.

"Love you El" She murmured before sleep overtook her too.

* * *

**A few days later**

Olivia woke up and looked at the clock it read 4:45. She looked around a felt the empty space next to her, she slowly got up and ran her fingers through her hair. She got up and stretched before she walk into the kitchen to see Elliot leaning against the counter facing away from her. She smiled before walking behind him and slipping her arms around his waist.

"Morning" Olivia said kissing his shoulder.

"Morning" He smiled turning around.

"How did you sleep?" She asked.

"Wonderfully" He kissed her forehead. "Liv?" He asked seriously.

"What?" She asked fear growing.

"Have you taken a test?"

She broke eye contact and let out a breath. "No"

"Why not?" He asked turning her head.

"I don't know" She mumbled.

"Liv, Look at me" He whispered lifting her chin. She had tears rimming her beautiful brown eyes.

"Why haven't you taken a test?"

"I-I'm scared for the results" She whispered.

"Why?" He asked carefully. "Don't you want a baby Liv?"

"Yes and No" She breathed, confusion washed over his features "I want a baby just-nothing" She stopped herself. "I need a shower. I'll take a test later today" She finished pulling away before walking into her room to get ready for work.

* * *

"You okay Liv?" Amanda asked as Olivia walked into the precinct.

"Yeah, why?" Olivia asked.

"No reason" Amanda answered quickly before walked away. Olivia furrowed her eyebrows before she walked to her desk and put her bag in her bottom drawer.

"Liv?" Nick asked approaching her desk.

"Yep?" She asked looking up at him.

"Everything Alright?" He asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yeah Nick I'm fine" She breathed.

He watched her for a second before he went to his desk as well.

She let out a breath. Soon she would know whether she was pregnant or not. She hasn't been more nervous about anything in all her life. She started tapping her pencil on her desk.

Yes, she wanted a baby. She's wanted a baby for years. She just wasn't sure if she wanted Cassidy's baby. Of course if she was pregnant she would keep it. There was no was she could aport a baby. That just wasn't right. She just worried about Elliot, if she was pregnant she knew he would be there for her, but she would feel like a burden on him. Elliot was finally single and he's taking care of his Pregnant Ex-Partner! She let out a breath as she phone vibrated beside her.

_Have a good day! See you later tonight!_

_~ El_

She smiled down at her phone and took a breath before she decided to start working on her paperwork.

* * *

Olivia knocked on the door slowly. She was really nervous to have this conversation. Slowly the door opened and she gave a small smile. She entered the apartment she walked right to the couch and sat down.

"We need to talk" She breathed. "I need to tell you…" She took a breath.

"Tell me what?" Brian said.

"I-I'm not p-pregnant" She murmured trying to hold back the tears.

"You aren't?" He asked trying to hide his excitement.

She simply shook her head.

"That's great!" He said not trying to hide his smile at all.

"What?" She asked in disbelief.

"You aren't pregnant! That's great… I was so worried" He said still smiling.

"Are you serious?" She asked.

"Liv, We aren't dating...If your pregnant then that means child support for me" He said. "I don't want to deal with that"

"Fuck you Brian!" She yelled she moved closer to him. "How dare you!" She yelled before he hand came in contact with his cheek. He stumbled back hit hand going to his cheek.

"What if we were still together?" She asked and feared for the answer.

He looked at her and didn't say a word.

"Go to hell" She said before she stormed out of her old apartment for the last time. She was fuming she drove home basically breaking all of the street laws.

* * *

Elliot was in his room changing when he heard the front door slam shut. He quickly slipped on a shirt before he walked out of the living room and seeing a very pissed of Olivia. This. Was. Not. Good.

"Liv?" He asked slowly walking closer. She turned to look at him and he saw the hurt and anger in her eyes.

"How dare he!" She exclaimed.  
"Whats wrong?"

"He was relived, happy even. Maybe fucking ecstatic" She said her voice growing louder with each word. She started pacing.

"I said 'I'm not pregnant' and he looked like a 5 year old in a candy store! I was sitting there trying not to cry and he-he was happy I wasn't pregnant!" She said. He could tell she was about to cry. He walked closer to her slowly.

Olivia Benson had stages of anger… She was at beyond pissed ands soon she was going to break down. No one saw that stage except for him.

"Liv" He whispered. She turned to look at him with tears in her eyes.

"He wouldn't have wanted the baby even if there was one" She murmured choking back tears. "What of we were still together?" She said a tear sliding down her face. "Would he want me to abort it? How could someone be so heartless" She said more tears falling. She put her hand on her abdomen that she silently wished had a baby.

"Oh Liv" Elliot said pulled her close and hugging her tight. He felt her sob into his shoulder.

"Don't worry, he doesn't know what he's missing." He kissed her head and rubbed her back.

"El, Soon I wont be able to have a baby" she murmured.

"Shhh Liv" He cooed holding her close.

* * *

They where laying in bed and Elliot was holding Olivia close yet again. She was sniffling, she had finally stopped crying.

"El?" She said looking up at him.

"Yes?"

"Will I ever be a mother?" She asked more out loud than specifically to him.

"What kind of a question is that Olivia?" He asked looking down at her.

"I dunno" She murmured before letting out a yawn and moving her head back to his chest.

He ran his fingers through her hair. He felt her breathing even out. He kissed her head.

"I promise you Olivia, no matter what I will make you a mother" He murmured. "No one deserves it more than you, and you will be a wonderful mother" He kissed her forehead. "I promise you, soon enough you will have a little bundle of joy" _That will hopefully be mine_ he finished in his head.

"I love you Liv, Stay strong" He kissed her one last time before sleep overtook him as well.

* * *

**_What do you think? Still trying to be realistic! Please tell me if you like it and if you have and Ideas you can PM me! I love getting reviews from you guys! They make my day! I hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it!_**

**_Thats it for now! Love you guys! THANKS FOR READING! :)_**


	9. Chapter 9

Olivia was fuming. This case had taken her to her wits end. This 'Comedian' made jokes about rape and assault, making people laugh. If that wasn't bad enough, when they got to his stand up, Brian was there. She couldn't even process why or how she could be with a man like him. He was happy she wasn't pregnant, he finds rape funny, Seriously, talk about a huge mistake!

She walked into the apartment and slammed the door. She forgot that she didn't live alone when Elliot walked out of his room in only sweats. She took a second to admire his body before she remembered why she was so mad in the first place. She hadn't seen Elliot since this case started. He had no idea what she had just been through, but she could tell that he knew he was about to find out.

"Is everything all right?" Elliot asked yawning.

"No, it's not" She said trowing her hands in the air. "How could rape possibly be Fucking Funny?" She demanded as if he knew the answer.

"Rape isn't funny, who would find that funny?" Elliot asked walking closer to where she was.

"Everyone who has seen this prick's stand up" Olivia yelled. "Josh Galloway thinks he's so funny! 'Rape isn't funny, Gang rape is' Who says that!" She continued.

"What are you talking about?"

"Josh Galloway, he made a stand up career out of making jokes about rape!" She exclaimed.

"Liv, calm down, its just you and me. This Galloway guy isn't here." Elliot breathed. "What else happened?" He had a feeling that Josh Galloway wasn't the only reason she was so heated. Something else upset her.

"Brian was there, he actually finds him funny! He finds a man who jokes about rape funny!" She breathed. "How could I be so blind! I mean, I look back on your relationship and I think I was ignoring it all. Acting as if it wasn't there" She said collapsing on the couch. "Even though it was tight before my eyes.

"Liv, don't blame yourself. You wanted to be happy" He said sitting next to her.

"I thought I was happy… I think the more I tried to act happy the less happy I actually felt" She admitted.

"He shouldn't have made you feel like you needed to act happy in the first place."

"I just wanted to be normal, for once" She breathed. Or to at least _feel _normal for once. Then everything went to hell.

"I'm sorry Liv, I know it hurts." Elliot breathed.

Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the fact she just saw Brian, maybe it was even the fact that Barba was a complete ass to her earlier. Whatever it was, it caused her to snap.

"You don't know what it feels like!" She said standing up. "You never had a boyfriend that made you feel like shit! He cheated on me with a prostitutes, He paid women to have sex with him. As if that doesn't make someone feel horrible as it is, he also finds rape funny! I was so close to being raped and he thinks it's FUNNY!" She pointed her finger at him. "I don't need your sympathy. So save it" She finished before she stormed into her room.

Elliot sat on the couch stunned. Olivia was right in a sense, he didn't know what it felt like to be burned the way she has. It has also happened more times than he or her would like to remember. He did know what it felt like to be hurt, and to feel worthless. He decided there was no getting through to her tonight so he would dust talk with her in the morning. He sighed before he started walking back to his room. He stopped at her door. "Night Olivia" He murmured. He walked into his room and shut the door.

Olivia sat at the end of her bed, She heard his door shut. She was a bitch, god she had taken her anger out on Elliot. She put her face in her hand and took slow breaths. These past few days had been very stressful. She just needed to sleep, just sleep it off. She would talk to him in the morning. She quickly changed into sweats and a T-shirt and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Olivia slowly opened her eyes. She had the day off and she smiled as she looked over at the clock. It read 9:07 she smiled and sat up and stretched. She quickly got up and as soon as she opened the door age smelled coffee. She smiled as she walked into the Kitchen. Elliot was sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading.

"Morning" Olivia said her voice still raspy.

"Morning, feeling better?" He asked not looking up.

She then remembered what happened the night before and she sighed. She got some coffee and leaned over looking at Elliot.

"I'm sorry, I was so angry and stressed and I took it out on you" She admitted.

"I know, I just wish you wouldn't keep things bottled up all the time. I know you know you can talk to me" He said bringing the cup to his lips.

"I know, I was so busy with this case I didn't get a chance to tell you and then the whole thing with Brian… I just kinda lost it" She breathed.

"Its okay, I've lost it on you to many times to count. You just needed to take a breather"

She loved how well he knew her. She smiled and took a sip of her coffee.

"So whats our plan today?" Olivia asked.

"What do you want to do?" Elliot asked.

"Just stay here, I don't want to do anything" She admitted causing him to laugh.

"Then nothing it shall be" He smiled.

* * *

Olivia and Elliot had been watching movies all day doing 'nothing' just like Olivia wanted.

Suddenly Olivia had remembered a question she had been meaning to ask.

"El?" She said drawing his attention.

"What?"

"What are we" She said taking a breath. "What is this?" She asked gesturing between the two of them.

"What do you want it to be Olivia" He asked turning serious.

"I don't know, I want to be in a relationship with you, just-" Elliot cut her off.

"You worry, I understand that. I left you, you wont say it, but a small part of you is afraid it will happen again." He said and it pained him to say it out loud. He knew she would be hesitant.

"Elliot," She paused she didn't really know what to say because he had said it. "Can we just be us? Do things need to change right now?" She asked.

"Can I still kiss you?" He asked causing her to laugh.

"Yes" She said kissing his cheek. "I just don't want to put a label on it, on us" She said.

"Okay, but can I still ask you on a date?" Elliot said grinning.

"Are you asking me on one right now?" She smiled.

"Depends on if you say yes"

"So hypothetically, If I said we could go on dates, you would ask me on a date?"

"Hypothetically speaking, yes" Elliot grinned.

She looked at him for a moment, she smiled and claimed his lips in hers. She moaned when she felt his tongue against hers. She smiled as she pulled away.

"You better be ready to pay Stabler" she smiled before kissing him again.

* * *

**_So what do you think? Still trying to make it as realistic as possible… Please let me know what you think! I would love to know what you guys think!_**

**_I cried happy tears when she denied Brian's phone call! It was such a great moment and I hope that they will be over so we will have room for MR. Elliot Stabler to come back! :)_**

**_Anyway, Thanks for reading and please review!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**If you want to follow my Mariska Hargitay/Law and Order SVU Instagram my name is ****"****LittleMissMariska****"**

* * *

Olivia leaned back in her office chair. These past few weeks have been pure hell. Amanda has pushed her limits more than once. Olivia knew she had a right to be worried about her. It would have been much easier if should would have come clean and let them know what was going on. Instead she went ahead and lied and got herself into trouble. She put everyones jobs on the line along with hers. As if IAB didn't hate them enough, she basically put a giant target on their Unit.

She had been worried about Nick too, his wife was worried. She didn't want to get into his business, but his wife was actually worried. Something was us, something that she wasn't telling her. She didn't want to push it anyway. She really didn't need to get into the Amaro family drama.

Olivia let out a breath she looked and everyone had already left. She put her head down on the desk and tried to hold back the tears. She had no idea being sergeant would be so stressful. She has never been more stressed, she feels bad for Elliot. He's usually the one to receive her wrath. She heard the door open and she quickly sat up and wiped her eyes.

"You okay Liv" Elliot asked as he walked over to her desk.

He knows how stressed she has been these past few weeks. He hated to see her this way, she didn't deserve all the stress she has to deal with. He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. He slowly started kneading his hands into her shoulder. He could feel how stressed she was, her muscles were very tight.

"Relax Liv" Elliot whispered into her ear making her shiver.

Olivia relaxed into his hands and let a moan slip past her lips as she felt him working his hands on her back. His hands were like magic, she's hasn't felt this relaxed in months.

"God El" She moaned as his hands made their way to her lower back. Elliot worked his hands back up her back and kissed her head. Taking his hands away. He turned her chair so she was facing him.

"Thank you" She murmured closing her eyes.

"Fell better?" He asked smiling at the look of relaxation on her face.

"Much" She murmured.

"I wanted to talk to you about this weekend." Elliot said causing her eyes to open.

"What about it?" She breathed.

"I want to take you up to my beach house" Elliot said, he moved to lean against her desk.

"El" Olivia breathed looking away from him.

"I really want to spend the weekend with you" He said cupping her cheek. "You have been so stressed lately, I want you to be able to relax" He said running his tub across her cheek.

She sighed "We are so short handed"

"Its two days Liv, come on. Let me take you away" He pleaded.

"I will ask. No promises" They both knew she couldn't say no to him.

"Good" He smiled before he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Go to the locker room and grab my clothes. I need to wash them, I'll call now" She said.

"What clothes?" Elliot asked.

"My shirt and pants. I spilled coffee on them this morning" She breathed.

Elliot tried to hide his smile, but didn't do a very good job.

"Oh Shut up and get the clothes" She said.

He chuckled as he walked out of the room.

She picked up her phone and called IAB.

"_IAB__"_

Olivia froze, she knew that voice. She sucked in a breath.

"Hi, This is Sergeant Olivia Benson. I'm requesting to have the weekend off" She took a breath. "I have enough Vacation days" She breathed.

"_Liv__"_

"Its Sergeant Benson, can I have it off or not?"

"_You spending it with Stabler?__"  
_"Brian don't make it personal… This isn't about us. We aren't together anymore" She breathed.

"_It looks like your fine to take the weekend. Everyone else in you unit will be working__"_

"Good, Thank you" She said before she hung up the phone quickly. Just as she did Elliot walked back ingot he room with her clothes.

"This look promising" Elliot said as he lifted her Black Lace bra.

Olivia gasped. "Elliot!" She said as she stood up and grabbed her bra out of his hands.

Elliot looked her up and down "If thats there" He said pointing at her hand. "Then does that mean theres nothing there" He said pointing at her chest.

"Wouldn't you like to know" She smirked as she grabbed her jacket.

"I really would" he said grabbing her hips and pulling her flush against him.

Before she could respond his lips were on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he coat slid from her hands. She slowly slid her tongue into his mouth. She moaned as his tongue met hers, she felt herself getting aroused just by kissing him. What this man could do to her amazed her. She couldn't wait for this weekend. Elliot slowly pulled away with smirk on his face.

"You aren't wearing a bra" She smacked his chest as she picked her jacket up off the ground and put it on.

"Cocky Son of a bitch" She mumbled as she buttoned it up. She walked over and grabbed her purse from her drawer.

"Let go" She said, Elliot opened the door for her.

"So can you go?" Elliot asked as he slid his hand into hers.

"Yes" She said very monotoned even though she was excited. She leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked into the elevator.

"Good" He kissed her head.

* * *

"You are such a girl" Elliot said as he walked into her room.

"I am not!" Olivia argued as she tried to close her suitcase.

"Really?" He asked looking at her third suitcase. "Olivia, I can promise you: You will _not_ need all those clothes." He said smirking.

"Oh you think so?" She said moving to sit on her suit case.

"I know so" He moved closed to her and zipped up the suit case as she sat on it. "Its just a waste" He kissed her quickly. Olivia smiled before kissing him.

She jumped off the suitcase and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Thank you inviting me" She said snuggling into his chest.

"Wouldn't have it any other way" He kissed her head. "Come on we have to get on the road."

* * *

_**What do you think? let me know! Sorry it took so long! Ive been really busy! Love you guys! Follow me on Instagram! :)**_


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